After many years of struggling, failing and barely making the cut in the game of life you slowly learn that sometimes improving your life revolves entirely around avoiding traps. The biggest mistake can be summarized in a single sentence.
“The Worst Thing You Can Do Is Not Believe In Yourself”
This sounds ambiguous and cliche so lets take a deep look into how this simple problem can ruin your life. Forever.
Your success and failure in practically every aspect in life revolves around a belief system as it allows you to push past plateaus in your life. If you have never benched 200 pounds, have never run a mile in under six minutes, have never had sex with an attractive woman and have never made more than $40K a year the face value of your accomplishments is just that. Face Value. Now the longer you stay at these levels the more likely you are to believe that these are your limitations. Its a repetitive reinforcement of a negative belief system.
Now lets take someone in an extreme situation, say a virgin, it will be infinitely more difficult for someone with no experience with women to go from this state of mind to one of confidence with a “dime piece”. What is the solution? The solution many come to is to simply “talk to thousands of women” or just go sleep with a hooker. Not going to work. The organic way to improve this is to begin a positive inertia or state and build upon this while consistently going out and attempting to meet women. The hooker situation will ingrain even further the belief that the said virgin is “not worthy of meaningful relationships with the opposite sex”, this is false. Lets take a look at what happens to your mind when you do something “unbelievable”.
Your brain is flooded with dopamine, your posture improves, your tone of voice changes and you begin to question yourself in a positive light. “If I just lifted 200 pounds 10 times what else am I missing out on.”
For those that have been improving their lives for a long time a running theme is that it first begins as a building block stage like the situation above. You break through one ceiling and begin to question the other ceilings that you’ve constructed for yourself. At this point the ones with heavy doses of negativity try to break the next ceiling then quit because the ceiling was just as hard or harder than the first one. However… The ones who break through the next ceiling then realize if they put the same or more amount of effort in the third ceiling should come down… Then the fourth… Then the Fifth… Until one day you go out and a cascade, a flood, a downrush of improvements all occur simultaneously. You won’t forget this day you wake up and realize you’ve made it. A flip is switched in your brain and you won’t turn back. Why? You now know the answer to all of your problems is in maximization and repetition.
Maybe you’re 5’6″ tall, you weigh under 100 pounds, you’re unemployed, you watch TV all day, you eat junk food, you sleep in, you play video games, you complain, you cry, you beg for attention from women, you always ask needy questions, you have disowned your friends, you have disowned your family and you are living in your own reality of failure. A reality you created yourself. At this point a growing theme is to find someone to blame. Who is to blame? Feminsits, social media, online dating, nature, your ethnicity? Stop it. Stop looking for reasons to quit and start looking for ways to overcome.
– Back in the day it was easy to complain about the trust fund baby who got the promotion because his dad is the Head of Investment Banking
– Back in the day it was easy to complain about the difficulty of meeting attractive women as the pool dwindles and the list of demands grow
– Back in the day it was easy to complain about everyone around us that had it easy in life
Not any more.
You already learned that in order to be successful all you need to do is maximize your time and repeatedly go after what you want. The good looking, $1M lawyer with a body builders physique may only have to to talk to 10 women to be happy. Maybe you have to talk to 100. So what. Maybe you have to lift 7 days a week to keep up while everyone else can lift 4 days a week. Again. So what. Maybe you have to work 20 hours a day to have everything you want. So what. At the end of the day, you know the answer so you begin to become your own biggest critic. You’re close to the end, no one can disturb your mindset.
Finally, it takes many years, it may take some only one it may take some ten or more but there comes a time when you look at the trust fund babies, the George Clooney’s, the Jersey Shore cast and think to yourself “I’m glad that is not me” and mean it. At this point people begin to call you “extreme” or “sick”. Having never met a single successful person who is not extreme you should take the former as a complement. To the latter you have a simple response: “You’re right I am sick, I have a sick belief system”. Don’t worry they won’t understand.
So. What belief system are you negatively reinforcing by stagnation?