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April 22, 2013 by Wall Street Playboys 10 Comments

Choosing Friends

This post is going to offend some people. It is broken into two parts, most will eventually pass through part one however part two is the next step.

The Basics

Most guys, girls included, have many “friendszszs“. These people are holding you back. They are dragging you down. You’re being suffocated as you stand in your comfort zone unable to venture out alone. Each day you’re dying because stagnation is death. Your friends are your worst enemies. It is never what we don’t know that gets us in trouble it is always what we believe to be true that isn’t so. So ask yourself. Are your friends worth your time?

For most people, the answer to the question above is no. Your friends are creating a negative feed back loop in your mind when it should be a positive feed back loop. If you’re on the fence here’s a cut and dry guide to sifting through your 500K friends.

1. Does this person encourage you to “just be yourself”? Yes? Next.

2. Does this person have a flash of happiness when you tell him bad news about your work or personal life? Yes? Next.

3. Does this person laugh at you if you get shut down at a bar or club? Yes? Next.

4. Does this person have a negative or “realistic” mindset? Yes? Next.

5. Does this person have a dwindling bank account with no actionable steps to improve his life? Yes? Next.

In this day and age the word friendship is dead, we are busy trying to “get ours” with no effort. Instead replace friendship with the word reciprocity. A reciprocal relationship is beneficial to both parties. If your best friend is dragging you away from events you wish to attend and is willing to battle with you for an obscure girl at a club, be certain he won’t be there for you when you need a place to crash.

Advancement in Seven Steps

Assuming you’ve built up a solid social circle and none of your friends is an outright loser, it’s time to step up to the next level. Building upon some of these key elements will take years to achieve.

Faith: This comes at an odd time after the recent bombings in Boston, however a key element to giving yourself unbreakable confidence is faith. While you may or may not be religious yourself, befriending a man/woman that has the exact opposite religious beliefs could do wonders for both you and your new friend. It is much easier to maintain a healthy relationship when the only activities consist of hanging out in bars and playing sports. A relationship with direct opposing views causes both parties to see the other side of the coin without lashing out in anger. You learn nothing from a man who simply nods in agreement with every spoken word.

Ethnicity: Unless you are in an odd city with no diversity, befriending a set of people from various backgrounds will open your mind to new ways of thinking. For better or worse, each ethnicity has a different stereotype associated with it and carrying these stigmas in your mind will cause prejudice. Befriend a man or woman from as many countries, origins and backgrounds as possible. If you do not, don’t be surprised if you awaken one day and realize you are suffering from group think. We could have chosen “international relations” but ethnicity sounds much more catchy.

Willpower: Someone has had it harder than you. Someone has had it harder than us. Someone always overcame more. Consistently search for a man who has overcome more in his life than you have… and succeeded. This will make it incrementally more difficult to look in the mirror and say “I quit”. If you have a cellphone in your hand with a direct line to a man who has suffered through more pain than you, how can you give up? You’ll be motivated instantaneously.

Money: You must have a close friend who is wealthy. The wealthier the better. Osmosis will occur. More importantly, how does an average person obtain contact with a wealthy individual? You must add value to their life. This is how rich people think. Consistently search out a new mentor to get your money straight. The last thing you want to do is lay on a hospital bed with an expensive procedure on the docket to save your life… and you don’t have the cash.

Hard Work: Similar to willpower, you must find a person who works harder than you do. It is much easier to simply state “I work hard”. This is what lazy people do. They say they work hard but can’t tell you what they did over the last 24 hours. You should have an hour by hour breakdown of what you did and why. This should be trumped by someone you deem as superior to you.

Positivity: The impossibly bubbly kind. Where no matter what happens in life the person will not be phased. Not the slightest. No sleep? No problem. Lost a job? Getting another one. Got burned by a girl? Out picking up girls that night. Family member dies? You never knew because it never came up. Broke a bone? Miraculously fast recovery.

Health: Always ahead of the curve. Knows the ins and outs of new healthcare technology. Always looking for more information and is in incredibly good health. No one steps in his way because he’s a rock. No one questions his advice because he is living proof. Simply ahead of his time, which is something you can never get back.

With all of that said. How many of these seven traits do you possess? Or are you the friend that deserves to be cut off.

Filed Under: Life, Personal Finance

Comments

  1. AvatarIan says

    April 22, 2013 at 4:44 am

    Awesome article. I came to this realization myself, but without knowing how to really move on. I love your advice on this site about traveling alone and getting out of the ol comfort zone we all hate.

    Reply
  2. AvatarW O D says

    April 22, 2013 at 6:31 am

    Wow caught that flash of happiness a few times when I’ve told “friends” my bad news.That flash is something that shocked me but ignored it. I never do this, never get jealous, I’m stoked when friends do well.

    I’ve ditched a couple, well have just cut them out. I’m 35 and have now realised people are pretty weird. Very jealous and just don’t like to seeing others doing well.

    I think girls are worse than guys those. Keeping each other fat or single or with short hair.

    Reply
  3. AvatarFEJ says

    April 22, 2013 at 12:42 pm

    One thing I’d add is to read lots of books and get to know great people through their actions, or if the person has an autobiography, their own words. This has helped me immensely. I read this book by Victor Frankl a few years ago, called “man’s search for meaning” or something, and he talks about the types of people that survived the Nazi concentration camps, and how he survived it. And I think if all those people didn’t give up, in the most unimaginable hell known on earth, what the fuck do I have to complain about? You know?

    Reply
  4. AvatarTL says

    April 22, 2013 at 4:01 pm

    Great qualities to look for in building a friendship based on reciprocity. However, from my personal experiences, qualities such as those listed above are only exhibited in those who are older than me. Befriending those who are younger or the same age generally has the dangers of jealousy, backstabbing, concealment of informaton and an inability to work together to further each parites lives. Does anyone else have similar experiences?
    Also, having many friends from the opposite sex generally helps too as you get to know how the female mind works.

    Reply
    • AvatarWall Street Playboys says

      April 22, 2013 at 4:09 pm

      Having older friends is a good thing. Less likely that you will be stepping on toes.

      Reply
  5. AvatarSimon says

    April 22, 2013 at 11:13 pm

    Good stuff
    Just one thing (offtopic), could you change the background color to something less bright?
    I usually read interent stuff at night, so it’s really tiring on the eyes with white glaring in the background

    Reply
    • Avatar7 says

      April 24, 2013 at 2:06 pm

      Use flux

      Reply
      • AvatarSimon says

        April 24, 2013 at 7:02 pm

        would you mind explaining?

      • AvatarSimon says

        April 24, 2013 at 7:14 pm

        Nevermind, Mozilla has a solution: White on Black
        Feel free to delete both comments WSP

  6. AvatarA.Rahman says

    April 23, 2013 at 8:31 pm

    Wow. This post struck a chord, because I saw someone I should ditch – in myself.

    Thank you.

    Reply

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