This post is going to offend some people. It is broken into two parts, most will eventually pass through part one however part two is the next step.
Most guys, girls included, have many “friendszszs“. These people are holding you back. They are dragging you down. You’re being suffocated as you stand in your comfort zone unable to venture out alone. Each day you’re dying because stagnation is death. Your friends are your worst enemies. It is never what we don’t know that gets us in trouble it is always what we believe to be true that isn’t so. So ask yourself. Are your friends worth your time?
For most people, the answer to the question above is no. Your friends are creating a negative feed back loop in your mind when it should be a positive feed back loop. If you’re on the fence here’s a cut and dry guide to sifting through your 500K friends.
1. Does this person encourage you to “just be yourself”? Yes? Next.
2. Does this person have a flash of happiness when you tell him bad news about your work or personal life? Yes? Next.
3. Does this person laugh at you if you get shut down at a bar or club? Yes? Next.
4. Does this person have a negative or “realistic” mindset? Yes? Next.
5. Does this person have a dwindling bank account with no actionable steps to improve his life? Yes? Next.
In this day and age the word friendship is dead, we are busy trying to “get ours” with no effort. Instead replace friendship with the word reciprocity. A reciprocal relationship is beneficial to both parties. If your best friend is dragging you away from events you wish to attend and is willing to battle with you for an obscure girl at a club, be certain he won’t be there for you when you need a place to crash.
Advancement in Seven Steps
Assuming you’ve built up a solid social circle and none of your friends is an outright loser, it’s time to step up to the next level. Building upon some of these key elements will take years to achieve.
Faith: This comes at an odd time after the recent bombings in Boston, however a key element to giving yourself unbreakable confidence is faith. While you may or may not be religious yourself, befriending a man/woman that has the exact opposite religious beliefs could do wonders for both you and your new friend. It is much easier to maintain a healthy relationship when the only activities consist of hanging out in bars and playing sports. A relationship with direct opposing views causes both parties to see the other side of the coin without lashing out in anger. You learn nothing from a man who simply nods in agreement with every spoken word.
Ethnicity: Unless you are in an odd city with no diversity, befriending a set of people from various backgrounds will open your mind to new ways of thinking. For better or worse, each ethnicity has a different stereotype associated with it and carrying these stigmas in your mind will cause prejudice. Befriend a man or woman from as many countries, origins and backgrounds as possible. If you do not, don’t be surprised if you awaken one day and realize you are suffering from group think. We could have chosen “international relations” but ethnicity sounds much more catchy.
Willpower: Someone has had it harder than you. Someone has had it harder than us. Someone always overcame more. Consistently search for a man who has overcome more in his life than you have… and succeeded. This will make it incrementally more difficult to look in the mirror and say “I quit”. If you have a cellphone in your hand with a direct line to a man who has suffered through more pain than you, how can you give up? You’ll be motivated instantaneously.
Money: You must have a close friend who is wealthy. The wealthier the better. Osmosis will occur. More importantly, how does an average person obtain contact with a wealthy individual? You must add value to their life. This is how rich people think. Consistently search out a new mentor to get your money straight. The last thing you want to do is lay on a hospital bed with an expensive procedure on the docket to save your life… and you don’t have the cash.
Hard Work: Similar to willpower, you must find a person who works harder than you do. It is much easier to simply state “I work hard”. This is what lazy people do. They say they work hard but can’t tell you what they did over the last 24 hours. You should have an hour by hour breakdown of what you did and why. This should be trumped by someone you deem as superior to you.
Positivity: The impossibly bubbly kind. Where no matter what happens in life the person will not be phased. Not the slightest. No sleep? No problem. Lost a job? Getting another one. Got burned by a girl? Out picking up girls that night. Family member dies? You never knew because it never came up. Broke a bone? Miraculously fast recovery.
Health: Always ahead of the curve. Knows the ins and outs of new healthcare technology. Always looking for more information and is in incredibly good health. No one steps in his way because he’s a rock. No one questions his advice because he is living proof. Simply ahead of his time, which is something you can never get back.
With all of that said. How many of these seven traits do you possess? Or are you the friend that deserves to be cut off.