For fun we had a twitter back and forth with our friend Sam who claims that San Francisco is far and away better than New York City. Needless to say, we disagree 1,000 fold. Comparing Man Francisco to the greatest city in the entire United States, is like comparing a European Model to an Overweight Vegan…. Wait… That is the exact same comparison.
The Only Positives About San Francisco
The following people will enjoy Man Francisco: 1) Married couples, 2) liberals, 3) people who dislike hygiene, 4) vegans, 5) tattoo artists, 6) those who enjoy soy and 7) unattractive individuals with low self esteem.
The following benefits of Man Francisco: 1) the weather and 2) produce/farmers market.
If you do not like any of the items above, you’re not going to enjoy Man Francisco relative to NYC. Lets go ahead and kill this topic as the only benefits have been outlined above. This will be long as there are practically no benefits at all. Lets start with the people.
The People In NYC Are Much Better
1) Cheap People: The vast majority of people living in San Francisco are cheap. Sharing apps came about not because of the value it gives to society but because the society believes in making items as free as possible. Ignore the fact that this has the adverse consequence of filling your entire city with people who will prefer “Pabst” beer and a $9 twenty pound burritos. No surprise… this does not bring in attractive clientele and leads to the next problem…
In NYC: The people are not cheap and they will spend at will for a good time. You do not have to worry about calculating checks to the exact dollar and cents on a group dinner. When you leave healthy tips, the bartenders and bouncers will remember you forever and will show appreciation for it.
2) Fat People: Make no mistake, anyone who says Man Francisco is full of in shape people relative to NYC is a liar. They are either married or have low standards which makes them turn a blind eye to the extreme obesity and disgusting bodies of people in the city. You are more likely to find an overweight gluten free vegan than an attractive female. Honestly. If someone eats gluten free, sugar free, vegan poptarts for breakfast how did they get fat? Add it to the list of unexplained world mysteries. On that note, you are also more likely to find overweight homeless people than an attractive female above the 6 range.
In NYC: There are general door policies. While there are fat people all over the place, there are ground rules for being in shape and attending nicer venues. If you look terrible and don’t have a large amount of money the venue knows you’re not going to add any value to the event. Bring something to the table. Don’t show up in terrible clothing, overweight and unsuccessful expecting access to the Victoria Secret Fashion Show. You will be laughed at… Politely… As they won’t let you in. This is called having standards
3) Homeless People: On the topic of homeless people, they run the city. Back in 1968 there was a single homeless person who used to sell pencils nearby union square who suffered a horrific accident due to a war and didn’t have legs. Today? You can’t walk around union square without jumping over homeless people like a game of Mario. Oh and don’t worry. They are also fat.
The problem is so large we would like our readers to read this quote: “We encourage people and dogs alike to do their business in other places, like a proper restroom or one of our fire hydrants, which are stronger and made out of cast iron.”
Pause for a second. A lamp post was literally taken down by public urination and San Francisco has resorted to comparing humans to dogs with the statement “people and dogs alike” not… “dogs and people alike”. We are not trolling, here is the article.
Since we are comparing people and dogs like its no big deal it is fair to say the people also look like dogs as well.
In NYC: There are homeless people and it is extremely unfortunate. The climate in NYC is not good for homeless men and women, however, they are not *entitled* homeless people. A trip to downtown San Francisco compared to NYC will set the record straight. The number of homeless people in SF is ridiculously higher and they are entitled/aggressive as well.
4) The People are Unattractive: Before people jump all over the sentence above and say “omg that was so mean!” we are going to go ahead and allow you to decide for yourself. Type in the phrase “san francisco women” and then type in the phrase “New York City women” into google images. Here’s a rough idea of the difference.
Now there is nothing wrong if you believe that it’s about “who you are is on the inside” (we know you’re lying) but lets accept this as a fact. The problem? The women is Man Francisco have the worst attitudes you will ever see relative to their looks. The standard joke is that the city is full of 49ers (fours who believe they are nines). The joke is true.
In general, you can tell if a city is good based on the delta between the girl and the guy. Typically a girl will be at least a point more attractive than her man because this is how the world generally works. In Man Francisco, it will be reversed. In the rare situation where a guy is roughly equal in physical attractiveness to the girl… Make no mistake, she is the exact same age as him or within a couple of meaningless years.
In short, your dating options are exactly the same as Stephen Curry. You’re gonna be hitting a lot of threes.
In NYC: There are too many industries not to find a group of attractive people you enjoy hanging out with. You have many popular industries including Media and Fashion causing the average person to remain roughly above average if you stay in the nice neighborhoods.
5) Diversity: This is a joke of a topic since NYC is actually more diverse in terms of cultures, however, if you want to date a female who is not overweight your only choice will be Asian women. There is nothing wrong with this, but, you better have that yellow fever otherwise you’re going to be in pain for a long time. Therefore you can see that the only type of person who would be okay from a personal life standpoint would have to be either 1) married or 2) interested in Asia or both. If you’re not in one of these buckets you’ll be puking into one shortly.
In NYC: The city has 9+ million people. Re-read that again. There are so many people in the city that you will inevitably find a group or section of town that is enjoyable. Not everyone can live in SoHo in a decked out apartment. But. There are just too many options every single day of the week. You’ll find a great spot in no time regardless of your nationality. In SF, you’re Asian or White.
6) Extreme Liberalism Gone Wrong: San Francisco is feminism ground zero. Ground zero. In addition, if you are not a Bernie Sanders/Hillary Clinton supporter you’re instantly labeled a monster. More importantly, outside of your political affiliation, the city looks a bit like a circus. It is halloween 24/7/365 and not the good kind with attractive women running around in sexy outfits.
We did a quick google search and even this month there was an outrageously disgusting event called “Brides of March”. In this event “men” dress up in wedding gowns along with women and parade the city. Please see for yourself (we apologize for the eye damage).
Yes…. That is chest hair…. and we tried to clean up the comparison with a NYC fashion show.
In NYC: The city is generally more left leaning, however it is within reason. If you lean more right-winged… people will not throw a fit and call you a racist “xenophobe” monster. You can even have debates on the topic and still get along just fine. Try telling the group of guys above that you’re not a Bernie Sanders supporter.
7) Passive Aggressive Losers: In New York City a girl will tell you straight if she is not interested. In San Francisco, a girl will talk to you and then bad mouth you to the only 7/10 in the group while you leave to the restroom (no worries she won’t be a San Francisco native). Everyone is afraid to offend everyone else so they end up getting on their iPhones and sending cryptic passive aggressive nonsense behind your back. Everyone walks on egg shells to avoid offending any specific group which then makes it impossible to have standards. And… When you don’t have standards you get the aforementioned event above.
In NYC: People are extremely to the point and blunt. There is no point in wasting time there because everyone is trying to hustle on to the next level in life. This is actually a great feeling. No one wakes up in the morning and says “I want to have the same life forever and just be a free spirit”. If you have thick skin you will love NYC as people will tell you up front if they are interested or not. No time is wasted here.
8) A Technology County: Sure… Technology is a great way to make money. The problem? The vast majority of engineers are Aspies with no social skills and are terribly boring. Say what you will but the stereotype is generally true, most math related/tech related individuals are dorks. You’re probably better off taking acid and talking to yourself than hitting the local bar filled with unicorn employees. Sadly, even the word unicorn doesn’t have the greatest connotation to it.
In NYC: There is no Technology culture in NYC. Well.. There is a bit, however it is contained. Unlike San Francisco where you cannot go five feet without hearing about the the “cool unicorn” you can avoid the entire industry as a whole which is full of aforementioned Aspies and passive aggressive boring people.
9) Lack of Style: We have mentioned this in the above but it deserves a full paragraph. The people who live in San Francisco dress like absolute garbage. They will commonly wear hoodies, flip flops and do disgusting things to their bodies such as neck tattoos, chest tattoos, septum piercings and create large holes in their ears. Not only do they wear terrible products… they don’t even fit. It costs $20 to get clothing fitted and it would take 1 hour of effort to find a brand that fits “close enough” if someone cared about their image at all. They don’t.
In NYC: There is a large fashion community and girls know how to dress. This also pertains to getting into bars and clubs. If you’re a male wearing an ill fitted outfit, everyone in the venue is going to know and you’re going to be ostracized pretty quickly. It takes less than 10-15 minutes to make sure you look nice and that is a quality that goes a long way in the city that never sleeps. The jokester above would never be allowed into any venue worth entering. In SF… He’s embraced with open arms as being “different”.
10) Homosexuality: There is a large community of homosexuals in the city. If that is your thing you will enjoy Man Francisco. We are heterosexual.
In NYC: Similar answer there are 9M+ people so there is likely a homosexual community as well. It is unlikely as large as San Francisco.
In Summary: The people in San Francisco are just terrible compared to New York. If you are offended by everything and are a weak human being then you may prefer the people in SF. In addition, assuming you meet some of the stranger metrics (vegan, yellow fever, boring personality who has never done drugs or drank in his life) then you just might find a niche with all the autistic people in the Tech Capital of the country.
The Actual Cities Are Not Comparable
1) NYC Nightlife is Outstanding: Sure nightlife is a bit more expensive than SF… the catch? It is worth it. The funniest part about that statement is the phrase “Catch” also describes a great venue in NYC… another double meaning.
If you go to a typical bar or even club in San Francisco, people will stand around in groups with their hands in their pockets and circle the following topics: 1) recent tech start up, 2) non-profits and 3) work related drama. It is absolutely fine to have minimal topics if you’re shy… But why does the group have to be afraid of “outsiders”. Trying to break into a group of people in San Francisco is like robbing a radioactive nuclear power plant. It is incredible that you broke into the plant with such skill. But. Now you have cancer.
In NYC: You can go out during any day of the week. That means Monday through Sunday and find absolutely outstanding venues. There is not a single day where you won’t find a good venue and you’d be hard pressed to find one in the entire year that is not popping off. Last call in NYC is never and in SF it is 2am. It is not even worth talking about this topic anymore, it would be insulting to the city of NYC to do so.
2) Day Time Venues Still Win in NYC: San Francisco has several great tourist attractions. It really does. From the Golden Gate Bridge to the SF MOMA to the Marina District. There are great places to have a fun day trip, the problem is it ends there. Your choices of consistent day time activities starts to fall.
In NYC: You have the same relative value with the Statue of Liberty, Times Square, Empire State building etc. The difference lies in the choices for theatre, plays, matinee sports games (Brooklyn, Madison Square Garden) all of these venues are not even seen in San Francisco… They have one sports team and that is all. More importantly, the activities are far more crowded and bustling compared to San Francisco.
3) Public Transportation is a Joke: Complain all you like about the crowded subway systems in New York but they are better than anything San Francisco has to offer. You have three options in San Francisco, Muni, BART and the Bus. You would think that SF would have an elaborate city that allows for you to move about the town at all hours of the night (Tech Capital!). Unfortunately, you do not. BART shuts down around midnight and we have no idea what the bus system is about… it is too crowded, slow and complicated to bother with. You’ll be forced to download the Uber app.
In NYC: Sure the subways are crowded but at least you can move about town seamlessly. They run at all hours of the night and if you’re in a jam you’ll find a way to make it back to your destination even if the other options are dead (Taxi’s, Uber etc.). More importantly, the seats are not made of actual cloth like the disgusting BART station and you will find more attractive girls on the subway than inside an SF nightclub.
4) Restaurants and Shopping Are Better: Union Square, Sushi and huge burritos. Congratulations you’ve exhausted your options in San Francisco. The best part is if you find a nicer venue you’ll have to 1) book outrageously ahead of time and 2) deal with expensive prices relative to the value. On a second thought, lets throw money out the window and it still isn’t worth it. You’ll be fighting tooth and nail to get into the good joints with no value add since there is no one to talk to in the closed off structure of the venue.
In NYC: Stores everywhere. You can walk into hundreds of areas alone and spark up conversations within minutes. If you have mediocre social skills you’ll find yourself picking up new contacts along with the check every single time. It would be difficult to fail in the open structure of many venues unless you were having a rough day and wanted to relax by yourself. Good luck sitting down in an open setting and *not* interacting with someone. You’d have to be an aspie.
5) Produce, Vegan Food and Lack of Hygiene: The one category that San Francisco dominates. If you are into gluten free vegan butternut cookies made by a guy who doesn’t wash his hands… You’re in luck! You can find organic everything made by elves from Ireland if you wanted to. They have it all.
In NYC: Unfortunately, the options are not comparable. You will have to risk your life and eat food that is not purely vegan all of the time and you might even have to buy a non-organic banana once and a while. Tough sacrifices.
This was by far the most entertaining post of all time for us. Comparing NYC to San Francisco is an absolute disgrace. The only people who will enjoy San Francisco are mentioned above: 1) married people, 2) unattractive people, 3) cheap people, 4) homeless people, 5) passive aggressive people, 6) techies, 7) those with extreme levels of yellow fever, 8) homosexuals, 9) people with no sense of style and 10) Aspies.
Before the hater comments come in, we do not care about the ten people who will enjoy SF above (the minority). We are simply saying… if you don’t heavily identify with one of these groups you will unlikely enjoy the city. Maybe you’ll be forced to spend some time there… If so… Get out as fast as you can.
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We hope you enjoyed this click bait post = )