With the manosphere growing at a rapid rate it is becoming more and more difficult to understand all of the terminology, how it relates and how to actually apply it to your life. In this post we attempt to break down the most important concepts, how to personally execute them and where we suggest you start. Grab a juice and get ready to jot down some notes.
This is where it all begins. Without the proper state you cannot properly build a new batch of friends or pick up a new girl. Simply put, state is how you feel about yourself (inner game). This refers to every single mindset, unconscious, subconscious, and your conscious mind. You have to rewire your brain to be in the correct state of mind at all times. Breaking it down further think of the three mindsets as follows:
Unconscious Mindset: Previous success. For those that have been in the game for a while, you know that once you reach a certain notch count or have a certain amount of success in venue X you get locked into a particular state immediately. Suddenly, you’re the center of attention without doing much and you’re able to seamlessly open up new groups of people and flow through the night without much effort. Essentially, single every notch is an addition to your unconscious state (assuming she’s attractive).
Subconscious Mindset: Reactionary success. Unlike a baseline of success, the subconscious mindset is when you’re making previous errors and you are quickly recalibrating. Think of this as muscle memory. When you get into the gym if you have previously benched 200 lbs and you suffer a month long injury, getting back to 200 lbs will be much easier if you’ve done it before. An example of a subconscious state workout would be traveling to an international location. You carry a set of previous success but you don’t understand the culture perfectly and likely have language issues. Another example of subconscious workouts would be taking a break from pickup and coming back a month later.
Conscious Mindset: This is where all the hard work comes in. This is where you’re starting from zero and you are operating entirely from next to nothing. The best example would be a club type guy going into a bar venue and trying to run a completely different style of pickup. Another example would be going from day game to night game or from lifting weights to taking up an endurance sport. They have next to nothing related. You will become a failure because you simply don’t have anything to work with.
With the three mindsets outlined you can now consider which type of state you wish to adopt. This is an important distinguishing factor. All three mindsets will improve (if you’re a virgin you’ll be starting with nothing but your conscious mind) but… which state is best for you? With that we believe it is best to look at the following book:
In this book Robert Greene outlines examples of seducer personalities. Let’s take a look at each one with an explanation and then examine the most efficient way to build up your mindset and choose a state that best suits your personality over the long-term.
The Siren: In the book he uses a woman as an example. This is probably best because in short the siren is simply a woman who is “hot” not pretty or cute. A simple example would be a stripper compared to the girl next door. We all know we don’t view the stripper the same.
Now the issue is that using a queen or a stripper isn’t exactly going to help any male improve his success rate with women so let’s flip it around. Knowing that women are becoming increasingly image conscious (ie: interested in how a man looks), this should be a major hint to maximize your appearance. For starters pull up a celebrity and see how you can mirror your image to reflect a well known heartthrob. Basic lesson = Improve facial appearance, improve clothing, improve hygiene etc.
The Rake: This is classic “a**hole” game. This means you don’t care much for a woman’s opinion and flake on her constantly ignore her phone calls and act as a fling. Naturally, the rake does well because he does not care one bit about anything and typically has problems with the law/bad boy image etc.
Dig deeper into this state. If you’ve been around for a while, you realize two major themes with the rake 1) not caring much about the opinions of others will help you in a social setting as you appear to have more self esteem and 2) this is a dangerous long-term path as truly not caring about everything usually leads to alcohol/drug abuse. As it stands the positive basic lesson = carefree attitude will get you further than organized and predictable every single time.
The Ideal Lover: For some reason, many people misinterpret this saying for a Prince Charming of sorts, when in reality it is as close as possible to a sociopath as you can get. A dangerous line to toe. Essentially the Ideal Lover is simply a person who fills the void in the life of another. He’ll play the part to simply get what he wants.
The lesson is not “”become a sociopath”. The real lesson here is as follows “How can you make a connection, quickly?”. When you meet a new person your goal should be to connect on an emotional basis this is called “chemistry” or a “spark” in girl terms when in reality it means they believe you are listening to them. Basic lesson = find an interest you agree upon so you can share something in common.
The Dandy: This is another one that likely gets misinterpreted. In general you read the phrase dandy and immediately think push over hipster (all hipsters are pushovers). This couldn’t be further from the truth. Thinking about it further, it is likely the most underrated state of game in the entire manosphere. What a Dandy really represents is a magnetic persona. This is a deadly form of game and one of the healthiest.
Instead of viewing a Dandy as simply someone who is carefree and eccentric we should take it a bit further. Why do people enjoy being around happy go lucky people? It is because they brighten the mood of the entire room. A true Dandy is able to walk into a room and everyone who knows of him/her will smile because he/she simply makes their day better by bringing in positivity. Basic lesson = practically no one can turn down a person who makes them happier in the present moment.
The Natural: Well if you’re learning game you’re unlikely a great natural. You’re not smooth and you know that your social skills need some work. Instead of ignoring the entire chapter lets think about the lesson here. The lesson is actually quite simple. It solidifies our original comment on the unconscious mindset.
Basic lesson = as you become proficient your interactions will become second nature.
The Coquette: This state is better suited for relationship game in our current society. Hot and cold. You give a little and take it away, the best real life example is flirting. In addition, it is much more common for women to have this technique… they deploy it on all of the guys they have zero interest in dating (ie: see thirsty guys)
The good news is that you can apply this method to a girl you want to date for a longer period of time. Maintain a bit of mystique by never giving all of your information away. Basic lesson = as soon as someone finds you predictable, you’re boring and nexted
The Charmer: This can be a bit difficult to place into words but charming is essentially your ability to make someone feel comfortable around you in a quick fashion: “I feel like I have known him forever”. The best example here is work game since a charming person can get away with more in the workplace. Everyone in the office likes him so he is able to properly run politics in the office and has no worries with regards to getting along with HR and the like.
This would be in the top two or three deadliest forms of game since people simply feel at ease around him. The basic lesson = the more people feel comfortable around you, the more they will let you get away with
The Charismatic: Easily confused with the dandy, but similar. A charismatic is able to command a large group. This is different from a dandy as there is scale with the charismatic, you become stronger in front of a large audience. If you don’t believe in charisma then simply watch an amazing speech and explain how you feel in the moment. You are overtaken.
The charismatic teaches us a major lesson. People are afraid of the limelight. They are afraid of pressure. They are afraid of the crowd. This is why many people call athletes and musicians “larger than life”. You feel a strong emotion while having zero personal interaction. Basic lesson = the more people you positively impact the larger you become
The Star: This is the last example and to be honest it was our least favorite. Application can be summed up in a single phrase “stand out”. While we all know the rules of standing out (ie: some object to draw attention), the ability to stand out and be a star are quite simple in today’s world. Here’s a hint, don’t dress like everyone else!
Basic lesson = our regular theme here, if everyone else is doing it, it’s probably a bad idea… You want to stand out from the herd
The Anti-Seducer: This is where the book wraps up and is worth a quick addition, essentially you can get a few dates/girlfriends by simply “not running bad game” in this case the summary is as follows: 1) don’t be cheap at all times – ie: spring for a black car if you’re in a hurry, 2) don’t be judgmental, 3) don’t be thirsty – ie: constantly badgering her with messages/calls, 4) work on clarity of speech – stuttering is a turn off, 5) talk less – she should be more invested in the conversation than you by the end of the interaction, 6) be able to laugh at yourself in the right occasions = don’t take yourself incredibly seriously and 7) again not sure why anyone would do this, but please dress well since slobs give immediate bad first impressions.
With the entire outline out of the way can you see how the ideal state changes as your game evolves?
Basics: Take the list of the Anti-seducer and cross them all off. Immediately change your wardrobe if it is a mess since this can be fixed immediately, begin building up your physique, hold restraint with regards to messages and phone calls and be able to laugh at yourself. Then start the process from the beginning.
Beginner: Start with the siren, the rake and the coquette. These are the easiest to emulate. The siren is simply your ability to maximize your looks, the rake is playing the numbers game by talking to as many people as possible (literally not caring) and the coquette can be practiced in your relationship game. The reason why many start with alcohol when getting into pick up is because it will bring rake like characteristics out of you (ie. loss of inhibition).
Intermediate: At this point you’re becoming more of a natural, you have developed a small niche (the star) you’re improving your general social skills making people feel at ease and you’re starting to pick up traits of the ideal lover. You stand out because you’ve correctly carved out a spot where you will be seen as higher on the pecking order.
Advanced: Now you’re relating to the natural and no longer worry about being the star as your vibe and state have evolved. You can now become the ideal lover in more than one instance as you’ve met many people across varying cultures. You’re quick to understand a new belief system. You’re smoother and charming at work. You’re beginning to obtain a twinge of a Dandy. Notice how it all relates… to become a dandy you need to become magnetic to multiple subsets of people.
Expert: The pinnacle of course is the charismatic. Placed in front of a vast audience which will undoubtedly include a wide range of belief systems you can impact their lives with your words. You’re on top of the world, you’re a man of value and nothing can stop you at this point. To see the pinnacle of charisma you will have to see the greats, Muhammad Ali, Martin Luther King, Steve Jobs, etc. Find one that resonates with you and attempt to become an amazing man of value.
That is section one of this analysis and now you’re asking “how does this relate to frame?” Once you’ve established a state, it does not matter if you’re a beginner or an amazing charismatic, once you can appropriately step into any of the listed states your job is to control the frame.
This is sometimes confused with state but in reality, state is who you are, how you feel and what your value as a man entails. Frame is entirely different. Frame asks, who is driving the conversation. The best real life common example is an interview.
Poor Interviewer: A poor interviewer will respond with answers. “I have done X Y and Z”. The employer will simply ask more questions and is driving the entire conversation since all of your answers are A, B and C. A poor interviewer does nothing to lead the conversation.
Amazing Interviewer: An outstanding interviewer is subtly driving the questions into his favor “I have done X and Y… however I also notice that your group/firm does Z and I did [activity that is similar to Z]. Frame shifted.
What happened here? Now you’re driving the car! How so? Now the interviewer is going to ask you questions about Z! Now you know what to do. If you’re the amazing interviewer that you are … You’re going to have a great story that relays how your activity will immediately add value to the employer. If you’re an all star interviewer? You’re going to consistently weave your ending pitch with yet another item on your resume that relates directly to the job. This is not a check mate guarantee, but you’ll absolutely get more jobs, more interviews and a higher success rate if you are not a robotic answering machine. Weave weave weave.
How Does This Tie to Game? Ahh yes lets tie the entire post together now shall we? If you’re a beginner, why is it easier to be a rake/siren? That is all you currently have to offer.
In the beginning, since you lack experience you’ll find great results by being the off the wall (likely drunk) person. Your job is to simply make people have a great time. You don’t have much substance to throw out because if you’re new to the game you’ve got minimal talking points with women in the first place. This is not bad, everyone starts somewhere, so you simply look the best you can and throw the kitchen sink into the mix. From a frame perspective you’ll see the following:
Beginner (rake siren, then coquette): Generally in this order, why? As a rake you are seen by the girl as a simple fling and nothing more. She knows you’re a young guy simply out to party and she may be interested for the night… As you get better you become a bit of a coquette because she will realize you’re not only interesting to her… but a few other girls were interested in you as well.
Intermediate (natural, star, lover): Now when you bring her into your frame you have more to offer. You’re smoother and you have a niche. Again, order is of importance. Once you have a niche and the right natural vibe you’re going to be able to pick out girls who simply view you as “their type”. This likely leads to longer term girlfriends/rotations and the like.
Advanced (lover, dandy): If you’re a smart man, you decided to continue developing beyond the intermediate. No you can be the ideal lover to multiple subsets because your vibe/state can be adjusted in various climates. When you bring a girl into your state she can now see you’ve got a worldly set of values. You’re much more of a dandy as this point. Multiple subsets enjoy your company and you can quickly adjust your state to what works.
Expert (Charismatic): Nothing says frame and powerful state like the charismatic. To deliver a message far and wide and to change the emotions of others you must be a well accomplished man. By simply hearing you speak the emotions change across a wide set of people (men, women and children). You’ve nothing to learn about game and your success will do the talking for you.
Overall, it will be rare to meet anyone who truly makes it to the charismatic, but everyone in our opinion, can become an advanced persona. This is a micro level view that is attainable by anyone willing to put in the work.
What stage are you in?