This is a blog that is dedicated to never settling down, however… even a driven individual takes a break from time to time and picks up a temporary girlfriend. In other words, a “temporary relationship” or a “mini-relationship”. Most guys learn game to get into serious relationships, so you can apply the same rules to your longer term relationships.
Ground Rules: Assuming you’ve found a girl you would like to spend time with, it is smart to lay ground rules early. You don’t need to hand her a list like you’re talking to Santa Claus but… the general guidelines should be laid out. Everyone is going to have a slightly different set of rules but here is a good starting point.
General Guidelines for You
– Will only see each other 2-3x per week at maximum. 2x per week will be the norm, 3x in a week if you have been out of town on business trips/other ventures
– Short hair, flip flops, tattoos and bad hygiene are all grounds for a break up
– Weight management should be intact, ie: if she’s a size 1 and somehow tries to go to a size 4 there is an unwritten rule that you’ll be moving on
– There will be no wiggle room for being a cheat/liar. If she is not loyal then you leave
– She should have a high sex drive, this is dependent on you but if you’re not having sex every time you see each other… There is a problem.
Before all the negative comments come in about “what is in it for her!” or “You’re selfish!” we can go ahead and line up some clear positives for her.
General Positives for Her
– She is not going to pitch in for food/going out expenses. Going dutch is for broke people and hippies. If you can’t afford the extra $50-100 for an outing at night (skinny girls don’t eat much) then you shouldn’t spend your time maintaining a girlfriend
– Feel free to chip in on appearance improvements. IE: if she needs to go to the salon or buy some new lingerie, you shouldn’t be sweating the extra $50-100 here and there. Again, you both win here. She looks + feels sexier and of course you’re going to find her more attractive.
– Improved health, you’re not going to let her eat potato chips and Kentucky Fried Chicken all day. Instead she’ll be exposed to a healthier diet chock full of seafood (salmon, crab, lobster etc.), fruits and vegetables.
With the ground rules out of the way, lets take a look at additional ideas on how to find a girl that will work for you.
1) A Common Healthy Hobby: This is going to be important for both of you. While sex is great, you should have at least one activity that you both enjoy doing. This does not include getting black out drunk. Some of these ideas can be simple: Tennis (mixed doubles), a Musical Instrument, Dancing, Surfing or Art. By having at least one common hobby you’ll avoid the constant need for alcohol.
A running joke… Every relationship after the age of 21 is spent drunk 24/7 with your partner. Don’t be that guy.
2) A Common Healthy Entertainment Option: This one is similar to comment one, the two of you should have a non-alcoholic entertainment option as well. This does not include sitting at home watching TV as that can be done at any time. Some quick ideas include: A specific concert/music group, Theatre, Opera, a Sporting Event, Comedy Shows.
Now that you have both a common activity and entertainment option, you will have two forms of entertainment to fall back on.
3) Distinct Personality Type for You: This is going to differ for each guy, but you should have a clear preference for personality type X. For fun, here is a personality type that is great to be around (opinion):
Flirty, Bubbly (ie: happy/ball of energy), Dainty, Warm Hearted, Sensitive, Sexual
Naturally, no where in this personality type does “intelligent” or “smart” appear since both of these qualities are usually accompanied by a dramatic decline in looks. Not worth it and certainly not fun to date a smart/sassy (see b****y) girl. Finally? God bless your bank account if you’re dumb enough to date a feminist.
4) A Separate Goal: This will differ from girl to girl but she should be working towards something she wants/desires that is unrelated to your work/life. As an example a girl could be interested in cosmetics and spend her time getting an extra credential to work as a make-up artist at a high-end boutique (naturally this is not the correct way to state it but you get the idea). Alternatively, she could be interested in selling clothes or being a promoter. Regardless of the goal, it is something you won’t have to help her with, you’ll simply be supportive and tell her to “go for it” and encourage her through the ups and downs.
What is the trick here? If it is in the exact same field then you’re going to be in trouble. You’ll be competing (more or less) and it won’t end pleasantly. By the way… this is reason number 7,528 to never date a girl on Wall Street.
5) The Right “Look”: This is similar to the personality type. The girl you’re with should have the look that you “go for”. For some people this is the blonde hair & blue eyed look, for others it could be olive skin, jet black hair & green eyes… etc. Essentially, your type should not be compromised. If you compromise? You’ll lose attraction for her in a meaningful way… and in short order.
As a side note, no one has a type that is “plus sized model” that is a myth and is just a gross fetish that should be punished with a *fat tax* (pun intended). Both the plus sized model and for the guy willing to date such a monster… should be taxed.
6) A Decent Family: Now we’re getting into the tail end of the relationship. You should have a firm grasp of her lineage. If her family was healthy and happy then chances are, your girlfriend is going to have a healthy attitude towards a relationship. Do not jump into any sort of commitment if the girl is part of a broken family where both parents are in jail and she is constantly being put into uncomfortable and painful situations.
There are always exceptions, but you should have a firm grasp of where her morals/beliefs stem from.
7) Socially Aware: The last item on our quick 7 point list is a girl who is socially aware of how to behave/dress for an occasion. The last thing you want to do is bring a girl with you to Vegas or Miami Beach wearing a thong and cut-off T-shirt that says “Come Party with Sluts”.
As a hilarious side note, a t-shirt that says “Come Party with Sluts” or “Slutty Saturdays” is not uncommon in the party scene. Just don’t commit to these girls (heaven forbid marry one of these things), hook up and move on.