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Game and Business Intersections
The purpose of this post is to explain some ways in which business and the seduction of women overlaps both as subjects and gaming women as a business (rich) man. A lot of these issues have been discussed here in one way or another and what I’ll do is offer my unique perspective as well as my personal experience. Also my main business is real estate so I’ll use examples from that mostly since I know it best.
Don’t fall in love with a house.
Overvaluing any one girl you haven’t slept with.
When it comes to making a profitable investment in real estate I have a well-reasoned and repeatable (in fact repeated) model for how to do it. Because of this I know that if I’m not finding deals, I’m not looking at enough houses and making enough offers, that is I’m not filling my pipeline and following up on leads. It’s easy when I start looking at a property and start negotiating to imagine how much money I’m going to be making and to start losing sight of the real goal which is to get in there at a good price. That is there is a temptation to rationalize paying more in the moment, especially with an adversarial party interested in extracting additional cash from me. This is the same mechanism at work with overvaluing women before you’ve had sex, and time spent trying to figure her out (if you’re spending time and energy thinking about her, you’re investing in her, what’s your ROI?). And she is (generally) trying to maximally extract time, attention, emotional energy and money before sex.
If I told you I needed to have this one house, no matter what the seller wanted to pay, and I was spending my time analyzing and angling with very little progress, you’d (rightly) think I was a poor investor; same with women.
90% of problems in game past the beginner stage (no basic model) are a lack of prospects. If you just grind out the sets and analyze your failures against the model (thus building a better model over time), you’ll get the lays and figure it out. Read Models, approach women regularly, gain experience over time and be totally detached from getting any one girl.
Have multiple sources of income.
Date multiple women.
Dating multiple women seems a common goal and question here. I’ve done this the right way, so I’ll offer some insights.
Similar to the above point about feeding your pipeline to create a realistic sense of value, if you only date one woman and have no workable model for finding others there is a much greater risk you will over time tend to overvalue her and enter into a bad deal (i.e. marriage).
So starting with basics, why even have multiple sources of income, and when would it make sense to (temporarily) ignore this advice? My understanding is that multiple sources of income are to mitigate risk that any one source goes south, and expose you to more possible upside that any one source has exceptional opportunities. This is same rationale for multiple women, any one relationship can fail, and any one girl may prove an exceptional opportunity (should you be looking for that). You can also mix active and passive income to have flexibility in how to spend your time with a baseline income even if focusing elsewhere, similarly having a main girl or girls and the ability to go out shooting for one night stands.
The temporary exception may happen when you have a solid early career opportunity where you would work 70-80+ hours a week and make real money in short order. In this case it may make sense to just forget about working on multiple sources for now and focus on the one (while you become established). Similarly the standard way of thinking about multiple women is date 2 or possibly 3 7’s and then commit when you get an 8 or 9. But this is wrong. The problem is you’re tempted to start rationalizing every new girl who’s a little better looking or has a little better personality, instead of setting a firm goal that exists outside of any individual girl. That goal is to only commit when you have the opportunity and desire to have children, hence creating a “real” relationship (it’s going to last for the rest of your life). This has been discussed with the marriage post, but it seems by how some people are looking at dating multiple women that they haven’t made the connection all the way to
Not planning to have children now (or ever) = No real commitment to any single woman
This doesn’t mean don’t see girls for the long term, or invest in them and be supportive of each other, it just means until you want to create something permanent with her (a new person), there’s no good reason to remove yourself from the dating market (potential upsides). Generally speaking the women who will be most open to this will be in their late teens to their early to mid-twenties. Further if you’re better than 90% of guys out there because of all the work you’ve put into self-improvement, she will naturally become monogamous with you. The regular mindset works in reverse too; you’re the “9” to all the other “7’s”. As a side note you might drift into unofficial monogamy with any one, particularly if you have great opportunities at work and consequently ignore your pipeline/other girls. There’s nothing wrong with that, just don’t make the mistake of turning it official or seeing her more than 3X a week (seeing her more than 3X a week by the way, will very quickly turn it effectively official in her mind and you are almost guaranteed to have her put pressure on you to commit).
Also dating younger women is a value proposition like renovating real estate. For instance when I have to fix up houses, I’m finding them in various states of distress. I take on the headaches and enjoy the spoils. This is the same with dating younger women only with psychological and emotional distress (even with bubbly and mostly happy women a lack of wisdom = irrational thoughts/behavior = drama until teaching them). Now I could also find houses at market price, try to make them work, and some would be overall good packages while some would just look nice on the outside and have a ton of hidden problems (usually from deferred maintenance); older women are the same. Either way I’d need to alter my model drastically to make it a good deal.
The way to look at the situation is the same as when you have a job making 70k/y. You’re not going to get rich with that, you need to actively build out other options or you need to switch to a career with a lot more opportunity. You’re not going to have children with this girl (at least not now) so you need to focus on You Inc. to keep your options open (and she should do the same, growing, improving etc.), and as long as you have this proper focus the proper thoughts and behaviors will follow.
A final point, the reason of “not having kids” is what many modern American women use to justify continuing to be in casual relationships only (and often to the emotionally distorted point of “hating” kids). Good for them if they are rational about it (i.e. “I don’t want kids now but I do around when I’m 30”), although it makes her less likely to drift into monogamy with you. However, the ones to watch out for are the ones who “hate kids” when they are young (and often compensate by sublimating the maternal drive into small animals), because often that maternal drive will return with a vengeance around 27-29 and then they will want kids with reckless abandon.
Capitalism as a capitalist means creatively combining resources to produce value; Money, Labor, Land, Knowledge, Technology, Network etc.
Seduction as a man means creatively combining resources to produce value; Money, Looks, Status, Game.
Now we can look at the “Rich guy can’t get laid” trope and see where it comes from and how to avoid it.
Being rich only works against you if you rely on it via leading in with it i.e. “Can I buy you (and your friends) a drink?” or if you become a charmless type A person in pursuit of becoming rich.
If you try to get a girl to evaluate you based on your resume, don’t be surprised when she takes it as a boyfriend application.
I’m speaking from experience here because I fell into this trap which is easy when spending a large portion of time making money and having a well above average income. It’s just easier to buy girls drinks when a $200-$300 night doesn’t even register, but it’s cancer to your game. I also found my way out.
So the main problem with “Rich Guy Game” is that a girl sees the guy as high value, but that value has to be extracted over time and it’s not of the sexual kind. This can lead to girls trying to slow down the seduction process either in general or as last minute resistance (leaves the bar with you, sees your car/house, turns into a “good girl”). But here’s the important point:
With wealth or any high value trait you have the girl’s attention, what you do with that attention is a function of sales.
Here’s how to deal with it, and this applies to any high value trait other than looks (i.e. intelligence):
Patient gentle persuasion that sex with me will count for, not against her. (“I see, I’ve always noticed i get along well and fast with all my previous long-term girlfriends”)
As an aside, this should be true anyway. Why would you value someone more who doesn’t give you want you want and less if they give you what you want? That’s neurosis. And to be clear I’m not referring to banging a six one night because it’s easy and quick but not even bothering to take her number (or taking her number, texting her you had fun, and never attempting to meet her again), or the gradual dulling of pleasure from banging the same girl for months (or years).
I explain that I will prioritize my time with a girl who I’m having sex with over one who I’m not, all things being equal. The same is true with all people, someone who intellectually engages me, and is giving me constructive emotions will be someone whose company I enjoy, now add that we’re going to be making bank together and I’ve got a potential new lifelong friend. Occasionally rich guys without game if they get this far at all use the wrong methods, like looking at it as they need to value their time (true) and actually verbalizing something like that (bad idea, she’ll feel objectified).
I’ll add here an observation and an anecdote.
Simple example that is gratuitous and easy to see: Dan Bilzerian. He’s fit, has decent fashion, has game (saw him eating with mystery, at a minimum he’s learned the formal theory) and he not only has money but he spends it. He appears to be with a parade of 8’s, 9’s and 10’s. He also has status in the form of fame and otherwise. So he’s an example of a rich guy who gets laid like crazy (it seems).
An example of a rich guy who doesn’t get laid (or pays far too much for it):
I was once at a big name festival where I met an attractive young girl. She was being taken care of by a rich guy, her and 9 other girls. They each were given a VIP ticket, hotel accommodations, travel was paid for, and they got spending money. This had to run him at least 2k-3k per girl. But he was fat, had bad fashion and little game. When I met one of these girls I along with two of my friends each paired off with her and two of her friends and we all got laid. The end result was that this guy paid 10k for three random guys to bang three girls (thanks for the room service!). Now all the girls claimed they didn’t hookup with this guy and just took his money (I believe they associated with him on an ongoing basis), and that’s probably not true. I would be surprised if he kept paying for their expenses and never got anything out of it. But they were all embarrassed to be associated with him sexually, and they were eager to each find a fit, cool guy to hook up with instead if they could do so without him finding out (they ditched him to come with us).
Two guys, both rich, drastically different results depending on all the other factors besides money (and I’m sure if the guy could spend 30k+ for a weekend he could afford a nutritionist, personal trainer and social skills coach).
If a man can’t tell the difference between a rich guy without fitness/fashion/game and a rich guy with fitness/fashion/game, then that man does not possess good fitness/fashion/game. Thus any guy claiming rich guys can’t /don’t get laid lacks good fitness/fashion/game.
Now is there a school of thought that says be her “Alpha bad boy” or something and make it clear you can only offer her sex etc.? Yes. Does this get good results? I don’t know; I haven’t seriously pretended to be poor (although I will joke about it, which is funny because I’m clearly not). I don’t hide my success or flaunt it upfront; I use it like a tool when it’s appropriate. I’m fairly certain that this other technique is a way for guys with less financial success to occupy a niche and grind out better results than they could get in more regular markets. Good for them. I don’t begrudge anyone in a capitalist pursuit; if anything I intend to learn what I can from their experience and discard what doesn’t apply to me. Logically however, if the choice is between being the “Total Package” or having to angle to make up for deficiencies, having it all will always be better than not. This leads me to my next point:
Become a millionaire through real estate investing with no money down.
Bang hot models with game and without looks, money or status.
I have several friends who have done exactly that, millionaire in three to five years, real estate investing with no money down (none of their money that is). Here’s the common traits:
1) Relentless hustle
2) Singular focus
3) Willingness to let other areas of their lives slide
4) Very good or great at sales / persuasion
On the other hand I don’t know anyone who bangs hot models without looks, money or status (guess we don’t run in the same circles). However I’m inclined to believe he could exist if he had all four of those traits (and lived in an environment where they were abundant, i.e. New York, Maimi, LA). But why do that? If you’re going to sacrifice other areas of your life (3) then you’re far better off having an abundance of the most readily convertible form of social value at the end of it (that is the literal purpose of money, they’re “social checks”). And before the claim is made to use game to make money etc. refer to number 4, I know there are a lot of definitions of “game” around but (4) + sexual intent/skills is one most reasonable people would agree on (perhaps add the ability to relax, have fun, joke around, have an off switch if you don’t include that in (4) etc.).
So if you wanted a clear explanation of why to focus on business first and game second, that’s it.
And if you wanted an example of someone who focused on business first, became financially independent, and then focused on game, that’s me. I’m not saying do what I did and neglect your social skills in favor of making money, but I am saying it’s a lot easier to fix that or any problem when you’re able to remove any financial constraints from your time.
Invest in real estate more surgically: If you don’t want to constantly pay massive property taxes, don’t have the downpayment to buy property, or don’t want to tie up your liquidity in physical real estate, take a look at RealtyShares, one of the largest real estate crowdsourcing companies today. You can invest in deals around the country for as little as $5,000. It’s free to explore and they’ve got the best platform around.
Shop around for a mortgage: Check the latest mortgage rates online through LendingTree. They’ve got one of the largest networks of lenders that compete for your business. Your goal should be to get as many written offers as possible and then use the offers as leverage to get the lowest interest rate possible. Interest rates have finally started to tick higher post election.
Updated for 2017 and beyond.